August 30, 2010
5:17 PM
WK: My world is full of mystery.
Me: Like what?
WK: Like, why do you get paid money for doing your job?
Tuesday, 31 August 2010
LF on the Electra Complex
August 29, 2010
3:15 PM
LF: Daddy, where have Mummy and WK gone?
Me: They are out of sight around the corner of this path.
LF: Are we alone?
Me: Yes.
LF: We're alone forever! Yay!
3:15 PM
LF: Daddy, where have Mummy and WK gone?
Me: They are out of sight around the corner of this path.
LF: Are we alone?
Me: Yes.
LF: We're alone forever! Yay!
LF on Herbivores
August 29, 2010
2:49 PM
LF: Daddy, are there deers in this wood?
Me: Yes.
LF: If one eats me, will you chop it open with your axe and rescue me?
2:49 PM
LF: Daddy, are there deers in this wood?
Me: Yes.
LF: If one eats me, will you chop it open with your axe and rescue me?
Friday, 27 August 2010
WK and LF on Fine Dining
August 27, 2010
12:28 PM
Me: How do you like your chips, WK?
WK: You know when you do a poo, yeah, and it's really long, and soft and in one piece? These chips taste like someone did that on my plate.
LF: And then they boiled the poo chips in wee, then they served them to us for lunch.
WK: This is the worst meal I have ever had in my long years.
12:28 PM
Me: How do you like your chips, WK?
WK: You know when you do a poo, yeah, and it's really long, and soft and in one piece? These chips taste like someone did that on my plate.
LF: And then they boiled the poo chips in wee, then they served them to us for lunch.
WK: This is the worst meal I have ever had in my long years.
LF on Behavior
August 26, 2010
7:18 AM
Me: Why did you use a pair of scissors to cut a hole in my best pair of trousers?
LF: I was pretending to be naughty.
7:18 AM
Me: Why did you use a pair of scissors to cut a hole in my best pair of trousers?
LF: I was pretending to be naughty.
Wednesday, 25 August 2010
WK on Blindness and Literacy
August 25, 2010
11:20 AM
WK: Then we walked down to the river to see the ducks. And something shocking happened. There was a group of people, and they were feeding the ducks bread, right next to the sign that says 'No Feeding Bread to the Ducks.' And they weren't blind. And they could read.
11:20 AM
WK: Then we walked down to the river to see the ducks. And something shocking happened. There was a group of people, and they were feeding the ducks bread, right next to the sign that says 'No Feeding Bread to the Ducks.' And they weren't blind. And they could read.
LF on Showers
August 25, 2010
7:36 AM
LF: Mummy, we need a new shower. There is no hot water in the shower.
Wife: No, we don't. The shower is fine.
LF: Daddy says it's not. Daddy said the shower is a shit in the neck.
Wife: Daddy shouldn't have said that.
LF: Daddy is really naughty.
7:36 AM
LF: Mummy, we need a new shower. There is no hot water in the shower.
Wife: No, we don't. The shower is fine.
LF: Daddy says it's not. Daddy said the shower is a shit in the neck.
Wife: Daddy shouldn't have said that.
LF: Daddy is really naughty.
LF and WK on Hygiene and Google Images
August 25, 2010
6:32 AM
WK: Daddy, you're going to skip your shower today and spend the time finding me photos on the computer of diseased lungs.
LF: Yeah. And then you can show me a picture of a group of crocodiles and wolves.
Me: But I want to take a shower. (LF and WK begin to cry)
WK: Look out! Now I'm really cross!
LF: Filthy, fat Daddy!
6:32 AM
WK: Daddy, you're going to skip your shower today and spend the time finding me photos on the computer of diseased lungs.
LF: Yeah. And then you can show me a picture of a group of crocodiles and wolves.
Me: But I want to take a shower. (LF and WK begin to cry)
WK: Look out! Now I'm really cross!
LF: Filthy, fat Daddy!
Sunday, 22 August 2010
WK on Regicide
August 21, 2010
2:14 PM
Me: (Pointing to the Banqueting House) See that? That's where Charles I was killed.
WK: Oh. How did he die?
Me: He got his head chopped off.
WK: That's not actually very nice.
Me: Why not?
WK: Because if you're going to kill someone, just shoot them with a gun, don't go around chopping off pieces of their body.
2:14 PM
Me: (Pointing to the Banqueting House) See that? That's where Charles I was killed.
WK: Oh. How did he die?
Me: He got his head chopped off.
WK: That's not actually very nice.
Me: Why not?
WK: Because if you're going to kill someone, just shoot them with a gun, don't go around chopping off pieces of their body.
Friday, 20 August 2010
LF on Heartbreak and Pushchairs
August 20, 2010
1:55 PM
LF: I want to get in the pushchair.
Wife: Bad luck. Walk.
LF: Oh, Mummy, if you don't let me get in the pushchair, my heart will break.
Wife: OK, darling, fair enough. Hop in. Is there anything else you need?
LF: No.
1:55 PM
LF: I want to get in the pushchair.
Wife: Bad luck. Walk.
LF: Oh, Mummy, if you don't let me get in the pushchair, my heart will break.
Wife: OK, darling, fair enough. Hop in. Is there anything else you need?
LF: No.
WK on Trans-Species Affection
August 20, 2010
10:43 AM
Me: Do you think it's a good idea to misbehave at a museum when your mother isn't feeling well?
WK: Do you think a photo of a policeman kissing an orangutan is funny?
10:43 AM
Me: Do you think it's a good idea to misbehave at a museum when your mother isn't feeling well?
WK: Do you think a photo of a policeman kissing an orangutan is funny?
Thursday, 19 August 2010
WK on Intelligence
August 19, 2010
3:20 PM
Wife: Those statues (pointing at a group of plaster rabbits) are not for climbing.
WK: How do you know that, if you're really not very clever?
3:20 PM
Wife: Those statues (pointing at a group of plaster rabbits) are not for climbing.
WK: How do you know that, if you're really not very clever?
LF on Hair Colour and Caesarian Sections
August 16, 2010
3:41 PM
LF: Mummy, when the big doctor cut me out of your tummy with a sharp blade, why was my hair black?
Wife: Because it was, dear. Hair is often a different colour when you are born.
LF: No. That big doctor, when he was done cutting me out with a knife, you know what he did?
Wife: No.
LF: He painted my hair black while nobody was looking, then he handed me to you.
3:41 PM
LF: Mummy, when the big doctor cut me out of your tummy with a sharp blade, why was my hair black?
Wife: Because it was, dear. Hair is often a different colour when you are born.
LF: No. That big doctor, when he was done cutting me out with a knife, you know what he did?
Wife: No.
LF: He painted my hair black while nobody was looking, then he handed me to you.
Wednesday, 18 August 2010
WK on God and Rain
August 12, 2010
6:35 AM
WK: Daddy, you know God, yeah?
Me: Yeah.
WK: Some people think that when it rains, it's because God is spitting out water.
Me: Sure.
WK: People who, you know, go to church. Church people.
Me: I'm sure some of them believe that.
WK: Especially Christians. Christian people think about rain and spit a lot.
Me: That's true.
WK: I think God is real. I've even been to Church twice.
Me: That's good for you.
WK: Do you think God is real?
Me: No.
WK: That's OK. But have you ever seen a firework?
Me: Yes.
WK: I made them at science camp, but without the real fire part. My favourite kind is the kind that spits out golden fire. That's what made me think about those Christian people who think that God is spitting out water. I think God spits out fire.
Me: Lots of people in the olden days thought that Gods lived in the volcanoes we've been reading about. Do you remember reading about this?
WK: Sure, but that's just silly. Even LF knows that volcanoes are made when craters fill full of magma and then overflow, blow up and spit real fire, not God fire.
Me: I agree.
WK: Do you know that today I think I will be both a baby monkey and a baby bunny?
6:35 AM
WK: Daddy, you know God, yeah?
Me: Yeah.
WK: Some people think that when it rains, it's because God is spitting out water.
Me: Sure.
WK: People who, you know, go to church. Church people.
Me: I'm sure some of them believe that.
WK: Especially Christians. Christian people think about rain and spit a lot.
Me: That's true.
WK: I think God is real. I've even been to Church twice.
Me: That's good for you.
WK: Do you think God is real?
Me: No.
WK: That's OK. But have you ever seen a firework?
Me: Yes.
WK: I made them at science camp, but without the real fire part. My favourite kind is the kind that spits out golden fire. That's what made me think about those Christian people who think that God is spitting out water. I think God spits out fire.
Me: Lots of people in the olden days thought that Gods lived in the volcanoes we've been reading about. Do you remember reading about this?
WK: Sure, but that's just silly. Even LF knows that volcanoes are made when craters fill full of magma and then overflow, blow up and spit real fire, not God fire.
Me: I agree.
WK: Do you know that today I think I will be both a baby monkey and a baby bunny?
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