December 6, 2010
6:48 AM
WK: How fat will I be when I grow up?
Me: Depends.
WK: As fat as a pig?
Me: No.
WK: As fat as a house?
Me: No.
WK: As fat as you?
Thursday 9 December 2010
Wednesday 8 December 2010
WK and LF on Noddy's Monkey Town
December 6, 2010
6:25 AM
WK: Both my Monkeys ran away from Monkey Town when they were babies, went to John Lewis, and waited there for a little boy who really loved Monkeys to become their Daddy.
Me: That's lovely.
WK: That little boy is me.
LF: This is a load of shit.
6:25 AM
WK: Both my Monkeys ran away from Monkey Town when they were babies, went to John Lewis, and waited there for a little boy who really loved Monkeys to become their Daddy.
Me: That's lovely.
WK: That little boy is me.
LF: This is a load of shit.
Tuesday 7 December 2010
WK on Careers
December 4, 2010
9:05 AM
Me: You can both be my nurses today, because I'm sick.
WK: Well, ok, but I can't be a nurse because I'm a boy. Boys are doctors, girls are nurses.
Me: Boys can be nurses. And girls can be doctors. And you can be a doctor if you would rather.
WK: No! I will be a nurse!
9:05 AM
Me: You can both be my nurses today, because I'm sick.
WK: Well, ok, but I can't be a nurse because I'm a boy. Boys are doctors, girls are nurses.
Me: Boys can be nurses. And girls can be doctors. And you can be a doctor if you would rather.
WK: No! I will be a nurse!
Monday 6 December 2010
LF on Fun
November 30, 2010
1:35 PM
Wife: I wouldn't hop down the stairs, if I were you.
LF: I would.
Wife: Strikes me, it's dangerous.
LF: Strikes me, it's fun.
1:35 PM
Wife: I wouldn't hop down the stairs, if I were you.
LF: I would.
Wife: Strikes me, it's dangerous.
LF: Strikes me, it's fun.
Thursday 2 December 2010
WK on Scandinavian Crime Fiction
November 30, 2010
7:45 AM
WK: What's The Grill Who Played With Fire about?
Wife: The Girl ... I don't know, I haven't read it. Ask your Father.
WK: I don't need to. I already know what it's about.
Wife: Oh yeah?
WK: Yeah. A girl who grows up and does a terrible thing. She smokes stigarettes [sic].
Wife: Stigarettes? Really? How shocking! What happens to her?
WK: Oh, she dies, of course. That's what happens to you if you smoke stigarettes, Mummy.
7:45 AM
WK: What's The Grill Who Played With Fire about?
Wife: The Girl ... I don't know, I haven't read it. Ask your Father.
WK: I don't need to. I already know what it's about.
Wife: Oh yeah?
WK: Yeah. A girl who grows up and does a terrible thing. She smokes stigarettes [sic].
Wife: Stigarettes? Really? How shocking! What happens to her?
WK: Oh, she dies, of course. That's what happens to you if you smoke stigarettes, Mummy.
Wednesday 1 December 2010
LF on Jokes
November 29, 2010
7:30 AM
LF: Mummy?
Wife: Yes, dear?
LF: I don't love you. Not one tiny bit.
Wife: Is that supposed to be a joke, LF?
LF: (Helpless with laughter) Yes!
Wife: It's not terribly funny.
7:30 AM
LF: Mummy?
Wife: Yes, dear?
LF: I don't love you. Not one tiny bit.
Wife: Is that supposed to be a joke, LF?
LF: (Helpless with laughter) Yes!
Wife: It's not terribly funny.
Tuesday 30 November 2010
WK on Schizophrenia
November 28, 2010
5:15 PM
Wife: Both of you are tired, so no talking after bed tonight.
WK: Except in my head. I can talk to the voices in my head. That's why I have a head, so that I can talk to the voices inside.
5:15 PM
Wife: Both of you are tired, so no talking after bed tonight.
WK: Except in my head. I can talk to the voices in my head. That's why I have a head, so that I can talk to the voices inside.
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